Five Divorce Misconceptions

Here are five common misconceptions about divorce that we divorce lawyers hear all the time:

#1 - It Has to Be Nasty.

Divorce doesn't have to be nasty.  Many divorces are uncontested.  Some that are contested are still amicable.  The parties are the ones who control whether the divorce will or won't be nasty.  

#2 - It Has to Be Expensive.

Not true.  If you have an uncontested divorce, it won't be expensive.  If you have an amicable divorce where the two of you each get advice from an experienced divorce lawyer and discuss a reasonable outcome, it won't be expensive.  The reason divorces are so expensive is because one or both of is taking an unreasonable position.

#3 - When in Doubt, It is Better to Follow The Advice of My Friends and Family Rather than my Lawyer.

Really?  Why this comes up over and over again is a mystery to me.  But many (usually younger) clients hire our firm only to then try to convince us that their friends or parents had another idea and they want to follow their advice.  Normally, the advice is some sort of rationalization of their bad conduct.  Listen to your lawyer.  Otherwise, why both hiring a lawyer in the first place.  We really do want the best for you and really will give you our best advice.

#4 - If My Lawyer Knows the Other Lawyer, They Must Be In Cohoots.

Honestly, we all know one another.  Any experienced lawyer is going to know your spouse's lawyer if they practice in the same county or jurisdiction.  It doesn't mean that we are in cohoots.  Normally, it means we can simplify the process somewhat because we already know one another.  We aim to keep our clients happy so we aren't going to sell you down the river.  

#5 - If My Spouse's Lawyer Knows the Judge, I Wont Get a Fair Trial.

Wrong again.  We all know the Judges because we all practice law before the Judges on a regular basis.  Focus on what you can do to help your case and worrying about the Judge is not going to help.