Mend the Roof

Who better to give advice on divorce in Georgia than a top Georgia divorce lawyer?  We see and hear it all.  Every day we hear about broken marriages.  We know how marriages fail and we see the scores of couples go down the same path every year.

So what advice do we have for avoiding divorce and preserving your marriage? 

Here are ten tips.

1.Be honest and transparent.  If one of you isn't, it is an indication that you are not aligned and one of you is planning an early exit.  

2. Be fair and considerate.  Don't do everything for your spouse or expect your spouse to do everything for you.  A good marriage that survives the test of time has to be fair to both partners.  Just because you can do it, doesn't mean you should.  even if your spouse allows you to take advantage of him or her, resist the temptation.  Sooner or later, your spouse will be over it and resent you.  Instead, make sure your carry your weight.

3,  Avoid the irreparable.  Some things you can't take back.  The things you say will last forever do if they are really bad, just don't.  Keep them to yourself.  Once you say them, you can never erase the fact that you did.

4. Be your own person.  Don't just be an extension of your spouse.  Have a job, a career, a hobby or profession that you can be proud of and rely on.  If you don't, you will never be able to stand on your own two feet and will never be able to stand up for yourself.

5. Don't be totally dependent upon your spouse.  Marriage is a give and take and you want to make sure you are not doing all of the taking.  Make sure your contributions to the marriage are just as significant as your spouses' contributions.

6. Don't expect your spouse to make your happiness.  You are responsible for your own happiness in life. Don't expect your spouse to be your parent or to make you happy in life.  If you aren't happy, do something to change the situation.

7. Don't define your happiness by comparing yourself to your friends/neighbors/family.  There will always be somebody you know who has more, lives a more comfortable life than you.  That's life,  Don't make the life that other's have your litmus test for a happy marriage.  Define your happiness in realistic terms based upon what is achievable and not what others have.

8. Develop your own friendships.  Its okay to have couples friends as long as you have friends of your own.  It's healthy to  have time away from your spouse when you can interact with friends who can give you balance and perspective in your life that you don't get from a spouse. 

9. Talk openly with your spouse.  If you bottle up your feelings stop talking to spouse, you're done.  You need to talk openly and listen to what you spouse says to you. 

10.  When you see a problem, fix It.  If you or your spouse have a problem, do something about it before it gets worse.  If you wait until it rains to fix a roof leak, it's too late.  Don't hide your head in the sand when you know there is a problem.  Act now before it is too late.